Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
