I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize