Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
