So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
