Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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