It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
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