i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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