Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My ass is underappreciated
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
