So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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