do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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