Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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