i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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