I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
