its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
