Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
