I just saw a hot homeless man
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
