Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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