what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
