Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
i now understand why vodka
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
