Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
