He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
