Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
