Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
