The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm both gender and math confused
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
