Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
