I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
