She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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