No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
How's work?
Spinning.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
