I'm lost and stupid without you.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize