I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
