I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
