The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
