Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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