Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm jealous of your bromance
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Randomize
