So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
