the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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