i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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