Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
