I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize