You're my little dorito
Swine flu. Run for my life!
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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