Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
