How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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