I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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