she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
