We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
