mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
