i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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