on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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