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I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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