the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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