Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
