And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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