I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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