So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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