Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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