what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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