he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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