saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
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I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
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we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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