Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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