is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
