Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
