At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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