Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We are all done wearing pants today
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
