I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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